There’s one thing all mothers know: the postpartum period is difficult. This is not news. What’s baffling, frankly, is the lack of attention that it gets. In an effort to understand what mothers are experiencing during the months after childbirth, the neli team sent out an anonymous survey with five simple questions:

1. How would you rate your fourth trimester from 1 (easy enough) to 10 ( very difficult)
2. Did you feel supported by family and your identified team of professionals during your fourth trimester?
3. What support did you find most helpful?
4. What support did you wish you had?
5. Anything else to share?

The team here at neli is made up of moms, and while we had an idea of what the answers would be (we did experience it, after all) the results still shook us. They lit a fire in our bellies. They drove home our purpose. We’re here to say this cannot continue. We’ll do whatever it takes to make a difference.

Below are the key takeaways from our initial survey. We had 116 responses. We want to thank each and every person that took the time to share with us—you’ll discover that you were not alone in what you were feeling.

Key takeaway: 60% of moms rated the difficulty of the 4th trimester as a 7 or above

A rating of seven or eight was the most common, with a nine or a ten being the next most common answers. Less than five individuals total rated the difficulty of their experience as a one or a two.

Key takeaway: less than half of women reported feeling “very” supported

Only about 42% of respondents felt very supported by their families and/or providers during this time. Significantly, nearly 23% reported that they felt “not so much” support during this time. These responses indicate gaps in the understanding of what kinds of supports new mothers need.

Many survey respondents shared that while they had supportive partners, friends, or family members, the types of supports offered to them were misaligned with their actual needs. Culturally in the United States, moms are expected to “bounce back” faster than in almost any other developed country in the world. The societal pressures on moms to do it all seem to contribute to a lack of effective support and a reluctance from mothers to ask others for additional help.

Key Takeaway: Postpartum depression, anxiety, and mental health supports are lacking

In the free response, over 30% of women mentioned struggling with or wanting more resources for postpartum depression, anxiety, and mental health. Almost everyone shared that they were unprepared for the difficulty of the 4th trimester, especially in relation to mental and emotional health.

Key takeaway: Every single person thinks change is needed

With 116 survey responses, we received 116 earnest, heartfelt, vulnerable stories calling for change. We read through each and every one with broken hearts. We felt with our fellow moms. 

Here are a few that are representative of the whole:

“[I wish I had] acknowledgment of my feelings and that what I was going through is difficult. It was all new to me. I had to balance losing me at that moment and becoming a new version of myself.”

“This part of pregnancy can feel very lonely and isolating, women definitely deserve more support all around.”

“I wish people were more open about the psychological difficulties of their time.”

“I never expected Postpartum to be as hard as it was”

“The fourth trimester was by far the most difficult time throughout my motherhood journey. PPD, PPA and low self esteem are REAL.”

“I would rather experience labor 10x’s than the 4th trimester”

“I think people aren’t truthful about how difficult the period of time after birth is. I wish there was more honesty without judgement.”

“We need to talk more openly and honestly about birth trauma. The 4th trimester was very dark for me even with an easygoing and content baby.”

“I wish I had more community with new mothers.”

“Nothing can prepare you for the emotional and mental hurdles you will be faced with. There needs to be more postpartum care for birthing people. We are forgotten after the baby is born and it’s so incredibly unfair.”

What now?

We created neli to move the needle in postpartum care. We believe we can better equip women for the postpartum period. These months after birth are pivotal for the development of the family, and an impact on the mom will have a ripple effect on her children and beyond. We seek to create stronger, healthier, more stable relationships between women, children, and the other individuals in their lives.

Together, we can trigger a disruption in the way the US views the postpartum period by coming together—sharing our experiences, expertise, and more—and touching the lives of millions of mothers.

There are a few ways to get involved:

• Stay informed with neli’s launch by subscribing to the neli community
• Share your story with us so that we can share it with other moms
• Lend your expertise for a class, guide, or workshop. We’d love to discuss partnering with you. Contact us to learn more.
• Share with others + follow us on social. Below is an infographic highlighting key findings of the report. We’d love it if you shared on social media or other channels to spread the word about the difference we’re trying to make. Tag @nelicommunity on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

‍